|
I kinda messed up at work and am being really hard on myself......
I have tickets to see the Dali Lama tomorrow and I gave them up because I would have to miss work. I am in charge of a portion of this education grant, and we are having the federal gov’t auditors come in tomorrow to assess our progress with the grant. I didn’t know I had them coming in tomorrow, back in August when I purchased the $100 tickets for me and my mom. So, now I feel bad and as though I can’t miss these meetings tomorrow. I called mom today and told her that there is simply no way that I can go.
Another factor is that I have my annual review next week with my supervisor. I took last week off for vacation (we had two days of classes cancelled for the Columbus Day holiday, so it seemed like the perfect week to take off). Anyhow, so it would be bad form if I called in a personal day for tomorrow.
On top of that, I am working overtime on Saturday (I’m salary, so I don’t get paid extra) so I decided to come in a little late today. Little did I know I was missing an important grant-prep meeting (to prepare for tomorrow) that was this morning at 8:30am. My boss texted me asking me where I was, but I told her I was meeting with students on the other campus (in the neighboring town). I was planning on being on that campus all day – which was true.
Now I feel bad for lying. I feel bad for ditching my mom. I feel bad for wasting a ticket. I just feel like I’m a horrible worker. I know some of this has to do with the other stuff going on in my life – my grandmother is very ill and we just found out this week…I’m going to try and find some time to travel this weekend to visit her. My depression has been acting up, I have a counselor apt tonight, and there is just a lot going on.
Idk if I should do anything to try and make this better. I think the first step is to be at work tomorrow and NOT go to the see the Dali Lama, even though it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I need this job though. Education field isn’t the easiest thing to stay in. It’s my career, my passion and livelihood, albeit I know it’s not showing at the moment. Needing some type of support guys.
|