I think its good that you realize part of your hate for it is out of jealousy that she gets to call herself professional... but you shouldn't use her as a measuring stick, makes me wonder if you have put her on a pedestal of sorts. Your really upset that she is making you actually address the fact that you aren't BFF's and she is an employee hired by you to help you. It doesn't mean that your feelings for her and hers for you aren't real, we are all human and all put our pants on one leg at a time. You can't help but feel something for someone you tell all your secrets too and spend that much time with. It is real , its just not forever and for always, its more of a model to help you find relationships that will meet your needs in a healthy way and be forever and for always. I know your having a hard time with this, but being angry with her and nit picky over words isn't going to make this process any easier....maybe this is the part where you need to mourn? Big hugs..... I'm sorry you are hurting.