Quote:
Originally Posted by healed84
One of the things that really contributes to my depression is the fact that I just don't like myself. I asked my T what are some ways for who don't like themselves to turn it around. One of his suggestions was to challenge the irrational thoughts that make me think I am not a "good person."
Then he said, well what do you like about yourself.. I honestly, couldn't think of anything. I just asked what are the kinds of things that I should like about myself? LOL.. So, he started to state things that people like about themselves that he saw in me. We made it to two things, b/c everything he listed I had examples as to why I am not that (he said intelligent and kind)... So, he thinks there is something deeper that that is preventing me from really accepting the fact that I could indeed consider myself a good person... that I am not broken, dysfuntcional, whatever..
Please tell me, why can't I like myself? I have no clue what is stopping me from actually believing it. OK - some maybe you can't tell me why I hate myself, but maybe you can gives examples of why other people or you don't like yourself. Any insights at all?
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Like Julia Roberts says in Pretty Woman..
Sometimes its easier to believe the bad things than the good things.
I too have a hard time seeing good in me- most notably why my T sees something in me that makes her want to be nice to me. To be nurturing, protective. I ask her why she likes me and she says that I am smart and funny and scrappy. That she likes that I am a fighter, and that underneath my sarcasm and mistrust there is a sweet person bc I like kids/am good with kids.
I have reasons why none of these things are true. And lately she just shakes her head when I ask for the millionth time "but why do you like me?" Or when I ask "Please stop being nice to me. You have to stop." She just looks at me and says "you really can't figure it out, can you? You just can't understand why someone would like you."
I try to understand but I don't.
Our negative self talk is leftover whispers from the people we grew up with who told us we were not good enough. Now we remember and we tell ourselves.
My T says they installed a program called self hate 1.0 and I have been making my own upgrades over the years, and our work in therapy is to uninstall that malicious software. Sounds like someone installed that same software in you, too.