Part of the problem this week (something happened on thursday that led to these current problems inside, and just happened to coincide with t's emergency and non availability) is that we have turned against each other inside in several places. Its a really long story, but basically, things have gotten bad inside.

I miss having friends. I miss ...well, everything. The way i used to be.

People who meet me are always like, "oh my gosh, you're so cute! Arent you adorable! And youre such a sweet girl!" . (i look a LOT younger than 40, i get mistaken for a teenager a lot...its embarassing) and people tell me i am just the most patient, sweetest person theyve ever met. They have no idea that inside i feel like i am dying they dont know that under my long sleeves are tons of scars.