Quote:
Originally Posted by nothingtolivefor
I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 7 years old. I've been in therapy now for 2 years. I'm 46 years old now 39 your track record of successfully living.
I am recently divorced. I have hepatitis C. have no family. and I'm tired. there is no 1 would love me. I can't live a life without love. I honestly wish I would just die.
I don't think I've ever actually have your love and affection. I have absolutely no memory of my mother ever holding me.
I've gone through every type of abuse a person can go through. when I was 17 my mother made me stand outside naked in front of friends family and neighbors mocked me about 30 minutes. have scars from the physical abuse. all of my sexual abusers were women.
I can't trust anyone anymore.
I just really don't know what else to do.
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Hi
I am so sorry that you lived through so much abuse. I admire that you still are here. I stay because I think its important to complete what I started. This life. But it is very very very hard to do so. I wish I had words of widsom. But what I can say is that you are not alone. Too many people live with untold pain. Too many people long to die. Simply because they seek relief from the pain, whatever that pain is. I know thats why I long for that. But I believe I am here for a reason. And so I stay around. It isnt easy though. safe
for you if that's okay