Apology accepted, Lone Wolfie. Perhaps the word "Tweek" was a trigger for you. I know that I am also honest with my therapist but I also know that i soooo want her to see me in a good and kind. I don't want her to ever see the "ugly" in me. . .. and guess what, althought I'm a pretty awsome and productive person most times, I am also ugly sometimes. As much as I'd like to reject it, I have an ugly side! And you know what? People who do not have the BPD diagnosis have the same ugliness in their lives.

When I talk about "tweeking" my therapist I'm talking about myself trying to recreate or maintain something that I am familiar with. . . all of us love to be involved in something that we are "familiar" with. If something is familiar or common to us, we hang onto it or we try to recreate it. Think about how people set up their camps . .. they bring everything under the sun to make things "like home".

It's not so terrible or hard to believe that when we are wounded that we would seek out or try to recreate what is comfortable or familiar. This is normal, but sometimes we seek to recreate something that is familiar or normal to our ABNORMAL childhoods. I'm not saying that is the case for you. I'm just saying that is something some of use do.

I think the book that was an eye opener for me was the book titled, Relationhsip Management of the Borderline Patient by David Dawson. It helped me as someone with BPD to recognize how I communicate. It isn't a recent book, it was published in the 90's, and I didn't agree with everything he said. But I did SEE or hear how I communicated with the people I interacted with in on an intimate basis, my therapist included. The author was very good at pointing out how we present a subject and th I taught me a lot. Did it cure me? . .. No, I'm a work in progress. Good luck to you on your journey