I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but don't give up! It's SO frustrating waiting for meds to kick in, but is there anything you can do in the mean time? Like, are you learning some coping skills in PHP? I know when you feel so hopeless/miserable, even thinking of using coping skills can be really overwhelming and feel pointless. But I find that after forcing myself to do something, I tend to feel better. But I don't always find the motivation to do it either

I can relate to this, but please hang in there! Someone once told me, "If it's still this bad a month/year/whatever later, you will still have the option of ending it then". I don't know if that helps at all, but for me, it helped me be more patient with the recovery process. It's a process, try to be patient with yourself!