Feeling like this is never going to end

Today has been one of 'those' days. I just feel really sad and blue and don't know why. It was bad enough that one of the leaders from my PHP program held me after class to talk to me. I wish I knew why I was feeling this way, then maybe I could make it better. All that keeps running through my head is ways for me to leave this world behind. I hate it when it gets this bad. I am taking my meds like I am supposed to, but apparently it can take up to four weeks for them to take full effect, so there is nothing the dr can do about that. So until then I just get to feel miserable. I feel numb.

Why were you held after class. What did he say? If you don't want to share that, I understand.

Please don't talk about leaving this world behind -- we NEED YOU. You are a vital part of this world, and I'm not kidding. You DO affect others in a good way! You are kind and loving, and caring! You are important to us, and I'm sure to others too.

It may not take the full 4 weeks for the meds to take effect. They tell you the maximum in case it takes that long. You could begin to feel the effects at ANY time. So don't despair -- you could wake up feeling much better tomorrow or the next day. Who knows? Just wait it out sweetie. It's WORTH the wait! You WILL feel much better when it takes effect, believe me.

In the meantime, keep posting and talking to us,, okay? We're here whenever you need us. God bless my friend, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Hey I can relate!
I want to encourage you not to think about leaving us....you are far to valuable to others and yourself to think that way...it's hard I know...I have to remind myself every day that I am worth something even when I feel worthless.
Oh and it will get better just hang in there! I can assure you that it will...but you have to give yourself permission to feel better....chin up....smile even when you dont feel like it, and let others love and care for you.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but don't give up! It's SO frustrating waiting for meds to kick in, but is there anything you can do in the mean time? Like, are you learning some coping skills in PHP? I know when you feel so hopeless/miserable, even thinking of using coping skills can be really overwhelming and feel pointless. But I find that after forcing myself to do something, I tend to feel better. But I don't always find the motivation to do it either

I can relate to this, but please hang in there! Someone once told me, "If it's still this bad a month/year/whatever later, you will still have the option of ending it then". I don't know if that helps at all, but for me, it helped me be more patient with the recovery process. It's a process, try to be patient with yourself!