How are you today, Dark Soldier? Sending you (((hugs))). You seem to be in a hard spot at the moment but hang in there. It may comfort you to know that most twenty-year olds don't really understand themselves and suffer from inferiority complexes, are confused about where their lives are going and seriously suspect that everyone else knows things they don't. I am not saying this to downplay what you feel, but don't be fooled by what you see around you. For all you know, those confident popular peers of yours just get by by pretending they know what they are doing, and by putting a brave face on things. We all have voices in our heads telling us negative and horrible things about ourselves,somehow we have to learn to argue back. You probably know a lot more than you think, too . What would you like to learn more about?? Maria500's idea of a library is a great one, libraries are amazing places. Myself, I just cruise up and down the shelves picking out books that catch my eye... I might not know everything about anything, but it is a good way to learn a little bit about lots of things.