well, i got it out again this morning. now I am fine. I am great. just ask anyone that knows me. they will all tell you that I don't have these problems. they would say, "Not Dan, no way!" ha! I am good at what I do. proud of it actually.

what other choice do I have?
choose to not cope?
be vulnerable?

to not cope would be hell. coping is hell too.

ugh....

see, this is what I am talking about. No light at the end of the tunnel. not for me. just more of this. the end of the tunnel is as bleak as the beginning. the light just shows me that when I look through it. lol.

it's this thinking that pulls me into a seven... but I rarely go past that.

I did the other day though, talking to James. Man.... i didn't know what I was going to do.

but in times like that, I get desperate and that desperation is a powerful thing. it can pull me back into the normal zone and out of the danger zone in a hurry cuz it's so strong.

the desperation that I feel can be debilitating, and a good thing too. good for times like that. I am always feeling desperate, that's at a five all the time too.