Hi, Elizabeth. Just because you feel something doesn't make it a fact. You feel the world would be better off without you, but that is entirely untrue. You are a vital living, breathing addition to this world. There is a reason you are here. You are very special and beautiful and worthy. As you get older, and as you heal, you will be able to recognize these truths.

Cutting is a complicated and misunderstood coping mechanism. I used to cut and there are still days i want to. I also self harmed in ways that did permanent damage to my knees. For
me, i was releasing endorphins to feel better, punishing myself, recreating my abuse and showing my inner pain on the outside in the firm of scars and bruises which i'd then hide. I KNOW IT'S NOT FOR ATTENTION anymore than an alcoholic drinks for attention. What would your foster mom say to a kid with diabetes? "you just aren't producing insulin for attention" ? She is a bit on the ignorant and not so compassionate side isn't she? Sometimes when people like foster parents are overwhelmed and scared by trying to take care of someone coping with something scary or out of control, they hope it is the sufferer's fault and blame them. After all, if you really were doing this out of attention, that would be an easy solution, wouldn't it? I know this dynamic because my older sister became my guardian. She said sone VERY hurtful things before. Not because she didn't love me, not because she was stupid, but because she is human and she couldn't handle my pain.