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I have seen my T for 2 years and have trust issues. My T knows this and has personal details on file. My T now wants more personal details or else we can't continue, I do not feel safe sharing anything else, we've managed for 2 years and it's not been a problem before. I am opposed because of things from my past and if my T were to use the details, someone close to me may react badly, I cant deal with that.
Even if we do continue I have a choice between a 10 year program of therapy up to 3 x weekly (I do not want to think about that amount of time or the huge cost) or focus work on a rolling program.
Whatever I choose I have no control over and will be "led" through the process. Well maybe I'm being petulant and not a proper "adult" but if I'm paying for it then I should have more say. My t wants what is best for me but so do I. The prospect of that many years of therapy terrify me. I know I am in a bad way now, but I hope with support I could get back on my feet, it seems clear I may have to look elsewhere.
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Yeah - I would find that very upsetting. I'd want to know WHY T needs more details when you're not ready to give them. I'd want to know WHY T says that you have to do one of these two programs, and how she things they would benefit you. I'd want to know why you have to be led through the programs.
It's been my experience that the most effective therapy is when it's client driven and when it moves at the pace the client needs. (at least, that's true for me...others may find differently). Personally, if my T gave me those options or pushed me for more info than I was ready to share, without giving me some really, really good reasons for it...I'd drop her and find someone new.
T is not an "authority" figure, and really shouldn't be. You are paying them for their professional opinion, but it's your decision whether or not to follow that opinion. They are not in charge of your decision making, and unless you're a danger to yourself or others, they can't really force you in to anything either.