What a long weekend... but if I am honest what a long time this has been coming. My wife admitted to an emotional affair with one of my best friends. The thing is, as hurt as I am I am more hurt knowing that my actions, temper and mood have led to this moment. I am not angry or hateful towards her... I am sorry that I have damaged someone and something that has sustained and strenghend me. I am sorry that I hurt someone I love so much to drive them... us... to this moment.

My wife has been asking me to seek treatment for depression for a long time, and finally I am getting help. I just started seeing a therapist and will be starting meds soon as well. But as we were crying on the kitchen floor together Friday night she told me "I love you... but I'm not in love with you..." I told her I still loved her deeply and wanted to do whatever I could to save our marriage.

She said she doesn't know what she wants and that she wished I had gotten help earlier... and now so do I... but that she was willing to try counseling and was "hopeful" that the marriage could be saved but that it will take time to heal all the hurt I caused. I don't care how long it takes... I just want to do it! She is afraid I can't change and that the miserable man I was will never lift. I have the help and now the impetus to change! I WANT TO CHANGE!

But, and it is a fair point, she has wanted me to change for so long and I haven't. I think because I never admitted I was depressed. I thought it was stress or frustration or whatever. She is scared I won't change. I need to prove it and be patient. I need to work and try and work some more, and I know this now.

If my wife is willing to work on counseling, is still talking to me (about work, football, firends but not our marriage), is hopeful that the marriage can be saved (she said if I can and do change my attitude and temper there is better than 50:50)... can I, by acting and changing on my part, rekindle her love and save this marriage... has anyone experienced this and been successful.

I am so stressed and sad and exhausted... but I want to fight. She and my kids are too dang important. This is the battle of my life and I need to know if there is hope.