ouch.... that hit pretty close to home weird thing is i just started to think like that... at first i thought its just depression... then remembered how sometimes i felt everyone else has slow thinking process... sign of mania.... finally got diagnosed with Bipolar II...

and now one sign of BP can be grandiose delusion, i am actually reviewing almost every major decision made by me in last decade.... i always knew i had taken insane career risks,most of them bear fruits... but i always like being on the brink you know... to push myself to edge... as if i wasn't chasing success but was chasing failures...

even latest example is that i have applied for MBA right... i have decided that i will take admission into top 25 B schools... from which i got interview calls from 8 .... but here is my dilemma... its risk i am taking, if i decided to apply for top 50 colleges i will surely get admission this year... but nope,i want to be in these 25 ... if i dont get into them this year, i will try next year.... now tell me if this is right decision or overconfidence/arrogance or just "grandiose belief" of bipolar .. cant be sure right??? or maybe its just my anxiety making me postpone my decision... .... what is the truth????????