Do you want him to first acknowledge the enormity of what you face if you take charge and make decisions?

And I don't find their calmness reassuring. It is not their life, so why would they get all worked up.

I'm thinking maybe you want him to be more in "tune" to all that you are going through. Like Can't Explain said to be more "empathetic". Sometimes when T is calm and laid back while you're gushing out all these feelings makes you feel kinda like they are sitting back watching a movie rather being a participant. Maybe you want him to feel what you're feeling, to be angry or mad or hurt WITH you. I know for myself I want T to be on my side, to be my support system. Do you feel like that?

This also annoys me about most ts is they dish out all this advice and do not think of the consequences. Healed, these are huge decisions you are trying to make and you should not be rushed or pushed into anything. A little more support from t would not go astray.
Especially decisions about your marriage, these are life changing and should be well thought out. Maybe you could ask t for a little more support right now and a little help weighing up all the consequences

Yes, I do understand. A little more empathy please T.

Ts often seem to under-react. But maybe that's part of the job? Not to be overwhelmed by what's happening to the patient.

I'm hearing that you are not reassured by your T's calmness.