I'm sorry things are so rough for you. I think other people that don't have depression can't understand how sad a person can feel. Watching a movie doesn't just snap you out. When I start getting depressed I usually isolate myself. No one I have ever tried to explain it to, has understood except for wife and it took me 8 years to tell her how bad, bad really is. I'm sorry that you don't have anyone to love you or children. I doubt every man thinks you are unattractive. I bet there is someone out there who thinks you are beautiful. I used to feel the same way about myself. I think it was mostly my self-esteem. I wish I had advice to give on how to find someone, but I suck at making connections. If there is someone out there who can love a super depressed guy with no self-esteem I have hope for you.