I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. A new housemate is a good idea, I think. Unless you love her and her company so much that you want to make it work. Then, I think there would be a way to agree on common terms.

But she's taking advantage, she's got a pot problem. I've seen it too much, when pot becomes #1 priority for people. I hate that. I used to work, clean, go to school, even when I was smoking pot. Not my thing anymore, thank goodness. But some people take it too far. That's probably not a great influence on your child either?

I too am a single mom with no support from the dads. What if you could find another single mom to share housing with? That could be good for the kids to have a playmate and possible helping each other with childcare? I've considered that a lot over the years, thinking it could be a really good scenario, like a nice communal effot. But my situation is a little crazy with 3 kids, me and the 2 older having bp dx's, etc.

I do think it makes sense to pay a little more than half the rent since you and your child are 2 people... but then not really with her having the larger room, that in my opinion should even it out. Her master bedroom probably has a separate private bathroom? That's a very nice feature if it does.

The cleaning needs to be split, and she's not working, can't even take some trash out? This is really unfair to you! I read before that cleaning is the #1 thing that married people argue about, so I imagine that goes for housemates too.

At least if she was paying half the rent, you could be setting money aside for your own place. Moving in somewhere has a lot of extra costs involved.

The talk with her tonight will be stressful it sounds, I don't envy you. I have a lot of trouble getting along with siblings and we don't even live together.

Do you want to keep living with her? Do you like having her around as family for your daughter? If you do, you could start with that in your convo, to set a positive tone, for the talking to you need to give her.

And then maybe you already have a list of the topics/issues, but if not you may want to make a written list to go over with her. Try to be objective and non-blaming, just stating what you see as the issues, and your ideas for solutions to each.

Sorry this got kind of long, guess I'm feeling chatty. But sanity check - No you are not being irrational.

These are just problems that come up in households, and like a puzzle, there are solutions.