I really need input here...am I being irrational?

UGH! I live with my little sister. I have an almost 3 year old and I am a single mom so since we both can't really afford to live on our own, we agreed to live together. We have a 2 bedroom apt. At first I shared a room with my daughter and my sister had her own room. She argued with me that she should have the biggest room (no idea why she thought an adult and a toddler should share a small room while she should have a huge room) and that was always a huge arguement every once in awhile. Right now my bed is in the livingroom because I wake up my daughter in the morning if I get up before she does.
Now the issue I am super annoyed about right now is an issue that is always brought up and we end up getting pissed at each other and argueing constantly.
My sister is a slob. She will stockpile dishes in he room and bring them out once a week or less. She just brought out cups of milk yesterday that was in her room for who knows how long. I have kept this apartment clean ALL WEEK. All by myself. All I asked was that she take out the friggen garbage. I never once complained about her not doing her share. When ever there was dishes in the sink, even if it wasn't mine, I would unload and load the dishwasher and make sure everything got washed. I swept the floors every day, sometimes twice. I washed all the floors. I made sure the bathroom was perfectly clean. The garbage started to pile up. I asked her a few times and she said she would do it before she went to bed. In the morning there would be a pile of dishes in the kitchen and still the garbage was there. I didn't say anything.
Now today there is about 6 bags of garbage in our hallway (right outside our bedrooms ) that has been there for 2 days because she moved them out of the kitchen where they were for a few days before that because she had people come over and she didn't want them to see it. So it has been sitting around for almost a week...because she won't take it out!
I have worked every single day this week between 2 jobs. She is not working. (She is on a leave of absence due to stress) Oh, and the kicker? When she stopped working, she said if I paid most of the rent (I pay 500, she pays 245) then she would (and this is exactly what she said) sweep and mop the floors every day. Do the laundry every day. Clean the bathroom every day. She did it for one week and it was back to me doing it all the time. If she does half the work (like roommates should split the housework) she says shes been doing all the cleaning. I am just so damn tired of living like this. She says she is moving out in June but she has said that a few times already and she can never afford to. I am sooo tempted to tell her I am not paying most of the rent anymore...considering I do all the housework.
Another thing I would like an input on is this: considering what I am a single mom with a toddler, and she is just one person, should rent be split half and half or should I pay more because I have a toddler? How do you think the rent should be split? She says that because she is always in her room that she shouldn't have to clean all the other rooms. I told her that if she rents an apartment from someone, she can't only pay part of the rent because she only uses one room, it doesn't work like that.
The reason I want an opinion on it so that I am not being completely irrational when I talk to her tonight. I want to calm down and think about it.
She makes more money than I do, and I make it while being a single mom with no help from her dad. My sister is a pothead whos first priority is her habit. She complains she can't afford to pay so much rent but how does that make sense when I do it making less than she does WITH a toddler?!
So freaking mad right now!

Ouch. She has the bigger room, doesn't help out and pays less rent? How does that add up? It's her choice which room she wants to spend most of her time in, that has nothing to do with rent. She has acess to the other rooms if she chooses. I am pretty sure she eats and uses the bathroom too.

Sounds like she is really taking advantage. She knows you will clean unless you want your child living in filth which you probably don't. So of course you will do it.

Can you afford to live on your own now? Same place or can you afford a smaller place? You are already sleeping in the living room, so if you could afford a one bedroom at least it would just be you and your daughter.

I know it's rough. I have three kids and I left my husband under abusive circumstamces. They were 2,4 & 5 then. We had to leave all our belongings behind. All I could a afford was a crappy tiny two bedroom place. I slept on the couch for 6 years. It wasn't great but like you I did not get any child support from my ex. We made it work tho and at least we had peace in our house and lives.

Is there any low income housing available or housing co-ops that you could apply for? That would be the best thing. That is what I got, long waiting list but worth it. We now have a nice 4 bedroom, nice safe neighbourhood. I can not afford rental prices where I live and this place is based on my income. It actually is lower than what I paid for the crappy 2 bedroom in a terrible un safe neighbourhood.

I definitely think she is taking advantage. I think tonight I am putting my bed back in the bedroom with my daughter and will tell her that we are splitting the rent equally. I can probably live on my own but it would be really tight and I am going to once she moves out, but she's my sister and I can't kick her out. I just need to wait until she moves on her own. I am just trying to make the next few months as bearable as possible.
So, do you think that if she has a room and I share a room with my toddler, that it is fair for us to split the rent equally? Cuz I know she's gonna say that because I have a toddler that I should pay more. Doesn't make sense to me but I know she will say it. Right now she is complaining that because my room is in the livingroom that she can't do anything in there after I go to bed which is completely untrue because I have told her over and over that I sleep like the dead and she won't bother me. She has been in the kitchen at night whil I am sleepng (only a few feet away from my bed) and I don't even hear her so she knows she can do anything she wants without bothering me but she still uses it as an excuse, saying she will not watch tv in the livingroom while I am there because she will wake me up. I think she is just using it as an excuse not to pay the same rent.
Oh and I did apply for housing. They called me after almost two years and the apt they had available was ina bad neighbourhood and the landlord looked like an asshole. I just had a bad feeling about it. I told myself I don't care how cheap it is, I am not living here. Because I turned it down, I was taken off the list.

Well unless she wants to give up the larger room.... NOPE.

I understand not being able to kick your sister out. But a serious talk about when she is moving out, and that she can't just keep flip flopping on it is needed. You are going to have to plan around that financially and need a concrete date. That is not too much to ask.

Can you again sit down with her and try to calmly work out a cleaning schedual. I know you have already gone over this with her but having 6 bags of garbage laying around the hall makes it obious that she didn't take it out like she said she would.. cause it's still there.

Kids can be messy so sure you might have to do more of the cleaning but she can do somethings to help out. How you get her too, no idea. You could tell her if she does not help clean that her rent will include a cleaning service fee. It's not a hotel and you are not her housekeeper or mother. Or if she is really going to move out than you might want to just try and put up with it till then if you can, for sanity sake.

Sorry you are in this situation. She doesn't have children so she likely really has not thought about what it is like. Hard to get the real picture until you become a parent.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. A new housemate is a good idea, I think. Unless you love her and her company so much that you want to make it work. Then, I think there would be a way to agree on common terms.

But she's taking advantage, she's got a pot problem. I've seen it too much, when pot becomes #1 priority for people. I hate that. I used to work, clean, go to school, even when I was smoking pot. Not my thing anymore, thank goodness. But some people take it too far. That's probably not a great influence on your child either?

I too am a single mom with no support from the dads. What if you could find another single mom to share housing with? That could be good for the kids to have a playmate and possible helping each other with childcare? I've considered that a lot over the years, thinking it could be a really good scenario, like a nice communal effot. But my situation is a little crazy with 3 kids, me and the 2 older having bp dx's, etc.

I do think it makes sense to pay a little more than half the rent since you and your child are 2 people... but then not really with her having the larger room, that in my opinion should even it out. Her master bedroom probably has a separate private bathroom? That's a very nice feature if it does.

The cleaning needs to be split, and she's not working, can't even take some trash out? This is really unfair to you! I read before that cleaning is the #1 thing that married people argue about, so I imagine that goes for housemates too.

At least if she was paying half the rent, you could be setting money aside for your own place. Moving in somewhere has a lot of extra costs involved.

The talk with her tonight will be stressful it sounds, I don't envy you. I have a lot of trouble getting along with siblings and we don't even live together.

Do you want to keep living with her? Do you like having her around as family for your daughter? If you do, you could start with that in your convo, to set a positive tone, for the talking to you need to give her.

And then maybe you already have a list of the topics/issues, but if not you may want to make a written list to go over with her. Try to be objective and non-blaming, just stating what you see as the issues, and your ideas for solutions to each.

Sorry this got kind of long, guess I'm feeling chatty. But sanity check - No you are not being irrational.

These are just problems that come up in households, and like a puzzle, there are solutions.