You are clearly one unappreciative *****. How dare you talk about your giving him unlimited instant access to sex as if it were a concession or an undeserved favor?! Tears of sincere gratitude and repentance should have filled your eyes each time he graced your dirty and despicable orifices with his divine penis, thus forgiving once again your horrible past of a fallen woman!

Again, how dare you talk about it in this fashion? A long line of women was waiting at his doorstep, each woman secretly hoping to be the chosen one, and he gave you and you alone the exclusive privilege to sweep and mop all the floors in his house, and not once, not twice, but for 25 years!

In hell, obviously. It is clear as day -- that is why he asked only a couple of times. It is a rhetorical question at this point.

You grossly underestimate the magnitude of his good deeds if you continue to think that just a little more gratitude on your part was all that was needed. Look, the activities of heavy drinking and sleeping around had been completely unheard of before you came along; you practically invented them, becoming the sole source of evil on this planet. Before you, all women filled their days with highly productive pursuits, studying textbooks, volunteering for worthy causes, running for office, and quietly knitting or crocheting at bedtime. Then you were born and the age of sin began. He did not just save you; he saved the humanity! You should have erected shrines bearing his name in each large metropolitan area in this country. Have you done that?