In my life.... and dark feelings/morbid thoughts... Its been like this for so long and the scary thing is its just gotten worse as the years gone by.. Like it just keeps getting a little worse each year or something. Like i dont deserve happiness or something.. i don't know. or i'm cursed. The darkest feelings and thoughts you could imagine.. And that awful feeling that things are never going to get better and im just gonna end up in the hospital.