Trigger Trigger Trigger



I feel abandoned and alone and angry. I was terminated by my past T, and I can't seem to consistently trust my new T. It isn't him, it is me. I am so devastated because I had hoped things would be easier this time, but they are not. I still experience the massive emotional overload. I went down to once a week so I guess I wouldn't become dependent, and he agreed I hate myself with a passion, and I deserve this. I can't do anything right. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up. I want to SI until the cows come home. It would save everyone else a lot of misery if I didn't exist. I don't think anyone can help me. I have to go to work and pretend I am normal, when I am not normal. I have to pretend that all of this isn't just under the surface, I ****ing HATE it. But who cares? I'm just a Borderline, and nobody cares about Bad Borderlines. I am so enraged right now. SOrry.