[youwillrise]

session was a positive one. felt much better than i did last week.

still nothing from the friend. meh, whatever.

Been pretty stable the last day or so. Blew up this morning but was a able to get it under control before it got really bad. A bit concerned about tonight, though.

woke up fine, but got anxious pretty quick when i realized we had church and yet still had to get ready for company this afternoon, so decided to stay home from church and husband did to and ugh, thinking it would have been better if he'd left...

i don't think i'm going to be on this site very much for a while.

Was doing well....writing on my thread about my husband kinda caused me to crash. I'll hopefully recover and not start sliding even further. At least that's my hope.

[hungryghost]

Partner has friends over today to help with some repairs around the house... I'm spending the day hiding! No people for me, thanks. Sometimes I think his friends must think I'm like Rochester's crazy wife in the attic in Jane Eyre.

[youwillrise]

was doing absolutely fine until i decided to attempt to make homemade ravioli.

lets just say things were thrown and the ravioli ended up in the trash.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Bruce was in a bad mood, I hate Sunday.

I still feel undesirable and unlikeable.

UGH.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by DreamAddiction37

woke up fine, but got anxious pretty quick when i realized we had church and yet still had to get ready for company this afternoon, so decided to stay home from church and husband did to and ugh, thinking it would have been better if he'd left...

i don't think i'm going to be on this site very much for a while.

You will be missed.

Do what you need to do.

We are here.

Carol

Today I feel like a waste of space and like nothing I say is important. But I feel like that every day.

[shezbut]

I am feeling insignificant ~ pointless, worthless.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

Today I feel like a waste of space and like nothing I say is important. But I feel like that every day.

You just said something important, nevergoodenough. Thanks for identifying with me today.

And no one is a waste of space.

I feel that way, too.

Carol

Head a little fuzzy, Think we're all in need of hugs

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Buttercup..

Head a little fuzzy, Think we're all in need of hugs

same here.

-Fleeing

[greentires4me]

today I woke up at 11am and had a donut for breakfast...then had a snooze at 12pm to 2:47pm got up and got my laundry. I had a donut for lunch then finally for dinner I had a microwave dinner for dinner. I feel restlessness, disconnected from self and out of control

*Trigger* Trigger* Trigger*










I self harmed last night and then this morning I woke up bouncing the walls rather hyper in fact, I have done a lot of housework, I have my music blasting out, I don't know what this is about.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Trigger Trigger Trigger



I feel abandoned and alone and angry. I was terminated by my past T, and I can't seem to consistently trust my new T. It isn't him, it is me. I am so devastated because I had hoped things would be easier this time, but they are not. I still experience the massive emotional overload. I went down to once a week so I guess I wouldn't become dependent, and he agreed I hate myself with a passion, and I deserve this. I can't do anything right. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up. I want to SI until the cows come home. It would save everyone else a lot of misery if I didn't exist. I don't think anyone can help me. I have to go to work and pretend I am normal, when I am not normal. I have to pretend that all of this isn't just under the surface, I ****ing HATE it. But who cares? I'm just a Borderline, and nobody cares about Bad Borderlines. I am so enraged right now. SOrry.

Originally Posted by Antimatter

Trigger Trigger Trigger



I feel abandoned and alone and angry. I was terminated by my past T, and I can't seem to consistently trust my new T. It isn't him, it is me. I am so devastated because I had hoped things would be easier this time, but they are not. I still experience the massive emotional overload. I went down to once a week so I guess I wouldn't become dependent, and he agreed I hate myself with a passion, and I deserve this. I can't do anything right. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up. I want to SI until the cows come home. It would save everyone else a lot of misery if I didn't exist. I don't think anyone can help me. I have to go to work and pretend I am normal, when I am not normal. I have to pretend that all of this isn't just under the surface, I ****ing HATE it. But who cares? I'm just a Borderline, and nobody cares about Bad Borderlines. I am so enraged right now. SOrry.

It's okay to vent here. Who else is going to "get it" more than other Borderlines? We may not have all of the solutions, but we can help you feel less alone, and that goes a long way.

I'm here, I'm back... On the forums anyway. Amazingly stayed away from chat the entire weekend on PC.

Played a bit too much Skyrim but hey...

I'm getting sick and with it more emotional.....just sad, lonely, and wishing I could take back a few decisions I've made.

[AngelWolf3]

Meh, not been a good weekend for me either. Went from elated to gloomy to downright pi$$y in about a couple hours. So effing confused about life in general.

And my "best friend" (who used to be my roommate, and is really my only RL friend) cancelled her plans with me last minute AGAIN for the third time, and this time my kids were disappointed as well. It's one thing to cancel on me repeatedly but to disappoint the kids too...

Originally Posted by AngelWolf3

Meh, not been a good weekend for me either. Went from elated to gloomy to downright pi$$y in about a couple hours. So effing confused about life in general.

And my "best friend" (who used to be my roommate, and is really my only RL friend) cancelled her plans with me last minute AGAIN for the third time, and this time my kids were disappointed as well. It's one thing to cancel on me repeatedly but to disappoint the kids too...

I'm sorry about your friend canceling. I am dealing with that. With my ex though. Once again, she's feigned wanting to see the kids and up and didn't show up again. Glad I didn't tell them she was supposed to see them or they'd be disappointed, yet again. yeah I know... about the kids, it's really bad. Been 2+ months since she's seen them.

didn't really leave, but just lurking...not planning to post much though.

trigger, i guess...



the other day husband left town to hang out with friends. he'd mentioned it last week but i had completely forgotten and wasn't too okay with it in the first place. i'd had such a good day, and then he comes home just long enough to tell me he's leaving. even as i was freaking out i knew i shouldn't have gotten so upset, it shouldn't have been such a big deal, he deserves to get out without me once in a while if he lets me get out alone...but still, i wasn't prepared for it and it would have been so much better if he'd just not come home...

he offered to take daughter to grandma's so it'd just be me and son - easier to handle at night - and while he was running around getting her ready to go i SI'd, didn't really notice, was just my anxiety maxing out and i was twitching and ended up scratching the side of my face. but just looks like a bruise, like i ran into the corner of a cabinet door. husband saw and stopped me. after that i snapped out of it and helped him get daughter ready to go. and then had a pleasant, quiet evening with son. sigh...

[hungryghost]

I feel like I'm destabilizing already, and it's very distressing. The urge to run away from my feelings is so strong I feel like I might faint. I need to retain the ability to shut this down when I'm at work.

[youwillrise]

...okay...