Dear Lee, thank you for both of your posts. There is no need for forgiveness you didn't say anything wrong. Your reaction is as it should be. It's my filters that are off, otherwise none of it would've happened in the first place. I am dieing to get help and I will. I went to the state run facilities a few years ago and I was diagnosed as bipolar and post traumatic stress disorder, given a lot of meds that didn't do anything and offered either 4 individual sessions or 8 week group sessions. I chose group because for some reason I thought that was better. I didn't get much out of that and I never said anything about this stuff. I think there is another place that does like $15 a session. I think I'll try that out. I'm scared and nervous about it. But you are right I can't heal from this alone. I'm grateful to you, please don't feel bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
I apologize for reacting the way I did. I was wrong. I didn't live the life you did, so I had no right to judge.
You've been thru a terrible ordeal, and this man manipulated you something terrible. YOU are not the monster, believe me. But I won't way that HE isn't. Any man that puts his hands on a woman in anger is a monster in my book. And especially since he HURT your little BABY!!! I just cannot fathom that, and in no way can I look past that.
I hope you can see your way clear soon in getting some help. Can you check with social services and see if they have a program for mental health services? Perhaps they could help you in getting some help. Or they might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help. You really do need some counseling to get you out of the hell that you're living. I know you're suffering, and I hate to think of you living like this.
Please don't punish yourself anymore. You did what you thought best for your daughter, and when you think about it, it probably WAS the best for her. I'm sure she has great parents -- people who have wanted a child for years and couldn't have one.  So rest assured that she's getting everything and more that she needs. And let YOUR mind rest that you DID do the right thing. You're not a psycho, my friend. You just need a little help. Please feel free to message me anytime, will you? My daughter gave up a baby when she was 16 yrs old -- that was 21 yrs ago, and since then the "child" has gotten in contact with her. They've met, and have a relationship. So sometimes things turn out great! God bless you and please take care. Hugs, Lee PS -- please forgive me??? |
__________________
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein