Staying healthy is your motivation

Throat ulcers, they had to put an IV instead of eating because the lining of the throat had burned away, heart palpitations, possible kidney and other multi organ failure, you try to brush your teeth for the bad breath but the brushing causes more permanent loss of tooth enamel, eczema and infection around the lips and mouth, pressure on tiny eye vessels hurt your vision, swollen face

is not worth that 10 lbs. I didn't want to be 115lbs living like that

It's a real illness, start little, step by step. Don't let anxiety and panic induce it, reach out for help, talk to your counselor and someone close. I don't want it to happen to you. Your body needs certain nutrients to grow and heal, don't deprive your body of them. include exercise in your schedule