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Old Mar 06, 2013, 05:44 AM
anonymous91213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetthinker View Post
My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 years. We have lived together for 10 years. Things were well in the beginning. We kind of grew apart in terms of our interests. I started studying yoga, and I also meanwhile developed and overcame an anxiety disorder.

I have worked hard on communication, and myself. Obviously, I have not worked hard enough because very recently, serious trouble arose. I am writing here on this board for support.

My boyfriend works over 45 hours a week, and has to drive approximately 40 miles each way to work, and has chosen to take 17 units this semester. He also never says no to anyone. He doesn't speak his needs. I know he isn't fully to blame, and I will explain what happened.

I am truly hoping for sympathy on my end because of what has happened to me. My boyfriend and I never communicate. I try very hard. I feel, unfortunately, very lonely, and have fallen to the end of his list.

One night I ended pushing him too far. I felt really sad and upset. I threatened to tear up an old photo of us from a time when we were very happy. He got very upset with me. We wrestled for the photo, and he ended up pushing me so hard onto the bed, that I got a concussion, and I landed in the hospital. I did not report him because part of me feels like I am to blame.

Some of the problems that led up to this was relationship scorekeeping. I didn't realize that even though he always said yes, he also was keeping score, and had growing resentment for me.

I hope I am making sense, but my head is hurting from the concussion. I feel like I deserved it for instigating like I did, but no action was taking place in our relationship. We hadn't been talking.

I am still living in the apartment with him. He has acted nice, but has not acknowledged the accident much.

What support can you provide me, please? Thank you!

It's not okay that he pushed you and you got a concussion. It is not your fault that he chose to be so aggressive. I'm' so sorry that you feel bad and seem to think the abuse was justified. If you bring it up that you want to have more communication and that your head hurt's because of what happened, I think it would be liberating for you. He would acknowledge it then and get the conversation going. Maybe he doesn't know how to start talking about it.What if he get's aggressive again? He pushed you hard obviously, you have a concussion. That does not happen if someone just "pushes", does that make sense?
warm thoughts to you, keep posting I'm encouraged that you are writing about this.