I dont know. The first time I did it I was really suicidal and I just didnt care and I wanted to hurt myself. But I still had to shut my eyes and make myself do it. I just needed to do something to be in control.
Since then, I havent been so bad. But its like because the cuts there I might as well keep re opening it and making it deeper and deeper. But I want it gone. I wish I could just leave it alone. Ive got to be back in uniform soon, and that involves short sleeves. It needs to heal.
**** im freaking out.
Yes my T knows. Shes not overly concerned because I have so many other problems in my life to deal with at the moment.