>why can't i leave him?? he always tells me i can leave if i want and I do but then i come right back not even a full day later. When I break up with him for treating me like crap he doesnt even care. He doesnt call or apologize, so I just always call him and beg him to take me back.

This is the other positive thing in the story, besides that you don't have kids. Unlike many abuse situations, you CAN walk away without the threat of death if you leave. Just plan ahead so that you can STAY away this time. You can do it, but the help of experienced people will be a big benefit. You're so deep in this hole you can't quite see the way out alone.