I think my son and I both displayed some IED symptoms, but we both have just stayed at bp & adhd dx... I think we're both outgrowing it, (i dont mean to minimalize the dx or your suffering) but as in learned coping techniques, improving communication skills, working on keeping home more calm, peaceful and organized, spiritual beliefs help us personally too. He does use pot to cope, no other psych meds right now, his therapist is working with him to hopefully move away from it because he's addicted and it can make him pretty unmotivated. I take clonazapam sometimes. I'm working towards more natural non drug solutions. Therapy is a big help. He and I both had a weird random book throwing fit the other night I don't even know why and very not proud of that. But he cleaned it up on his own the next day which was unusual for what I've been through with this kiddo.

So there are so many meds you could try and there are other things that could maybe help too, like therapy, exercise, learning all you can about these dx... I'm sorry you're going through it and hope you find answers to help you.