There's employment with tough to work for bosses. And then there's people like him.
1)You only Verbally accepted this position. I agree with a poster above, don't just up and walk away from the job, but keep your eyes and ears open.
2)I am having a gut feeling about this previous employees medical leave to never return myself.
3)Yes, you've gained some professional skills, but it is affecting your health.
4)My overall impression...narcissistic personality disorder, you are dealing with a man with a serious ego, and seems((see, logical rational people CAN and DO use the word seems)) to be taking advantage of your youth and saying what he did, is unacceptable. That isn't constructive criticism, that is cruel!
5)Of course, you don't want to have this discussion with him. Do you like me, don't you like me, do you like me?? That line of 'logic' isn't logic, at all! That's baiting, at the very least....
6)He's put a lot of effort in helping you realize something isn't right, red flags were there for a reason. Sure, we grow from encountering master manipulators like these 'men', but it's the kind of growth that tears you down, leaving you trying to put the pieces of your life back together 'growth'.
Wow....
Are there job prospects out there. You mentioned it's a verbal agreement, not a written contract.
Make it through your time there, get a good reference and get someplace a little less stressful.
Keep us posted
Quote:
Originally Posted by daffodil8
I began as a temp, filling in for his admin who was "on medical leave" (I believe there was more to this, but that's a different story). Long story short, she never came back, so I was offered a full time, permanent position.
Therefore, I took the position and verbally agreed to stay through the end of 2014.
While I have indeed grown professionally and learned a tremendous amount, the feeling of despair, dread, and hopelessness has not gone away. It is affecting my physical and emotional health to the point I am getting sick way more often, crying on a daily basis, having dreams about work constantly, and basically hating life.
we have trouble communicating. He says I need to improve my communication skills, but I believe I communicate so ineffectively with him and others in the workplace (according to him, not me) because I am paralyzed by fear.
I feel he makes comments that are somewhat condescending in tone such as "let me help you understand this more logically" "time out, let me explain this to you in a way you can understand". He criticizes my every word (god forbid I say something 'seems' or 'I believe so' - I get a lecture about this constantly). He gets on me for interrupting him, but does not give me the same respect. During a heated discussion today, he was drumming his hands loudly on the table while I was speaking.
This week has been exceptionally difficult - he's brought up the fact that we've had multiple discussions regarding my communication, listening, etc. We had a borderline argument today and he discussed my body language and how it was so telling of the fact I was uncomfortable and upset. I desperately wanted to breakdown and express my extreme unhappiness, but I just don't know how to bring it up.
I could go on forever but the issue is this: I wan't to leave. The problem is:
1. I agreed to stay, and I'm so intimately involved with his work role that it's not something I can walk away from so easily. He put immense trust into me that I would stay and continues to lecture me on how his constructive criticism is only to help me grow. This makes me feel like I just have a problem taking criticism, and that I need to grow a thicker skin and just deal.
4. I'm absolutely horrified to have this discussion with him - any sign of conflict in a discussion with him and I start to panic and exhibit symptoms of anxiety (shaking, sweating, trouble breathing/swallowing). I've even cried in front him before. I'm sure he'll yell and get angry and I know I'll be a nervous wreck.
5. I feel that, even though I disagree with his method of delivery, he really does have my best interest at heart when he offers criticisms. That being said, he's put a lot of effort into helping me grow and I feel bad walking away from that.
Help!!
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