This is very important to me. About your other feelings, I can relate to many of them. I started reading "Man's search for meaning," and it's so horrifying I find it hard to continue. A more palatable exploration is Woody Allen's enjoyable movie, "Midnight in Paris."

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or maybe not totally a plot spoiler, but it might be
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So the main character is an artist. He gets feedback on his work from Gertrude Stein, who basically says he should not be writing the dreary truth he sees. He has to construct meaning to lift people above the dreary world we live in. (She said it better, but I'm going from memory.) Not that the construction has to be positive and cheering - look at Kafka - but it has to be meaningful. In a wider sense, perhaps we are all artists in our lives as well - creators. I found that made some sense for me, gave me something to go on. A reminder of an important principle, at least for me.