I can relate to being the mother and wife and not being myself, if I wasn't trying to help other out.
I'm a homebody, myself, even single. Granted my kids are still young, and home. I don't get much outside help. Excitement for me, can be going to the grocery store
BUT...you mentioned you like helping people. I've tried out various volunteer opportunities, post-divorce. One of them, I can use my computer, at home, it was setting up a website for my town's youth wrestling program. I've taught CCD, liked that, just with the kids activities, don't have time for that.
Through my work, I am planning to meet up with a fellow co-worker from a pervious site every so often. Just went out, for an early dinner, last week.
Takes time, to reconnect with friends and form new friendships. I have a luncheon date planned with an old friend, this summer, haven't seen her in years, but we reconnected on FB. Little things, like this, matter to me, in life now.
As far as dating, hmphhh!!! and I mean, hmphh!!
I may be over my marriage, but there was an e-mail friendship that formed, after the divorce, and I just ended that, a couple months ago...never having met. I'm a attractive woman, but I don't know what it is, about men, these days...where are the coffee offers?! Where's the , hey, would you mind giving me your number questions?!
Or better yet, a whole week on on-line dating. Many looks at my profile, a handful wrote...and wow...they can't w-r-I-t-e. (maybe that email 'friendship' tainted me there, not sure, those emails were rather extensive, not really of a romantic nature, but still, that level of communication is a must for me, a serious must). And I figure if they can't w-r-I-t-e, maybe they can't hold the type of conversation that I need, in my life?
Yeah, so your ex ran off with some young chic, is having a baby boy and was rude, nasty and vicious?!
Don't know about therapy, but you do sound like you need a serious amount of 'girl' time and time to heal....
Quote:
Originally Posted by garfield1966
i dont go out much. never have been one to do those things. i was a mother and a wife. i work. i have gone out with friends on a couple of occasions. im trying to find myself it has been so long. ive always did what they wanted to do or he wanted to do. and you are right it is lonely being single. ive never been single. i went from my parents to my first husband had two children, divorced moved in with my second husband. so ive always taken care of someone. i feel an emptiness inside from not taking care of anyone i guess. both girls are married, he left so its just me. its hard trying to figure out who i am. i know i am too caring, and too nice but i wouldnt be me if i didnt try to help others. the hardest part of being left is trying to figure out why??? if i argued with him or nagged him or was just a ***** i could understand. and even he admitted that i was an awesome wife. i sometimes think it was because i couldnt have any children with him. and he wanted a son really bad. the funny thing is, is that she is having a boy for him, he is due in june. so i guess it didnt matter that she is 24 years older than him, that was a plus for him someone that he could have a child with. just hurt real bad over it all. he said so many bad things to me when he started seeing her. i never dreamed he would talk to me like that. we never said harsh things to each other, we had disagreements but not to the point were we hurt one anothers feelings. sorry this was long i apologize. maybe i do need theropy. i dont know
|