You know you need help, which, to me, means that your over riding urge is to survive. I know where you are coming from. I was a cutter for almost four decades. I can remember being in the basement after cutting a foot vein, hearing my brother come in the house and racing around trying to clean up the blood while more just kept coming out.

School can be a real trigger if you feel like there is a lot of stress. At the risk of telling you things you've heard a million times before, both smoking and drinking can effect your ability to clot. Not a good combination for someone who cuts.

There is hope. You can stop. I stopped two years ago and though I've thought about it in times of great stress, have not gone back to it. Sometimes it just has to be "your time" before you are successful. Know that everyone who has read this will be thinking of you and hoping that you find the strength to make that the last time. We carry scars, but they are scars of war. War that we eventually win.

Sam2