Im usually "not here", ie Im trancey - very depersonalised and fearful and I had a glimpse of reality where I thought who on earth am I. Im so upset with myself, as Ive deceived myself, into staying at home thinking that I was shy and Im mentally ill which is true, but besides the mh, its really because Ive been fearful of living, of social situations, of so many things. Im educated so how on earth can the mind hide something from itself. I dissociate but nothing like alters or mpd, I guess its more like brain fog. I stay at home with my mom whom Ive hated since 1997, don't know why, but I guess Im afraid of living on my own. How could I lie to myself ????
Malah