Hi Jean,
I feel reflected on your comments. I apologize in advance for my English, which is being terrible lastly. Hope I can communicate what I would like to say. IMO, fear triggers people to react against what they believe is not "normal". It is their fear what pushes them to push you to "be normal". They do not want to believe you or understand you, in an unconscious way. They want to believe that life is a box of chocolates. They want to believe that everything can be under control and chaos terrifies them. Mostly, Western people think like that. But here in the South of the world, things are more or less the same. But, I am sorry for them. Life is not a box of chocolates. People come in different sizes, and personality traits. People can be very sad under a surface of normalcy. People can seem to be functioning OK while they have an invisible disability and are suffering excruciating pain. Imagine, even I have a visible disability, and my type of condition is pretty well known everywhere, yet some people think I could walk if I really made an effort to. In fact, that they want to believe is that if they eventually got an injury like mine, they would get cured. People do not like to admit that there is pain, sadness, depression, whatever, because they do not want to see their own weaknesses, and because they have a negative view about human differences. On the other hand, sometimes, if I am not too depressed, it is good to me to get out of myself to reach out and help others. I mean, eventually that can be good. But not always. In 2008 I was pretty depressed. I was leaving in the US. I went to a psychiatrist. She gave psychotherapy and prozac. I improved rapidly. But I got really well when, in the middle of the treatment, my mom came to visit me and had a health problem. I had to call emergency and spent several days in the hospital with my mom. I can relate that that event (my mother being suddenly and gravely sick) woke me up. My depression kept me in the lethargy and that event woke me up, really. The psychiatrist thought I was not going to be able to cope with such pressure, but I did. She was pretty happy with my reaction and I recall that was an important milestone in my treatment. but now, being back in my country of origin, I am facing many challenges. One of the challenges is my brother mental health issues. I should reach out him, being the mature one. i just cannot do it. I cannot deal with him, and take care of my mom, and my own business and health issues. i feel overwhelmed most of the time. I am not sure if people are judging me or not for this change in my personality. But if they do, they are mistaken. Nobody should judge us.