Wow I just wrote of black and white then I come in here and see it from you!! Us narcs are really intune aren't we?? I do know what you mean but I think it may also be our doings most of the time. We definitely start the process especially with our so called friends. We create things for each relationship based on what we think we have to do to get what we need in return. In doing so it remains "black and white" for us but not them. They see all the different colors and in turn show this to us. At times when we're not into the supply tactic or maybe we just are at a time when it's really just for us and then we are easily bothered with all the ideals or BS they feel we want to hear . For me it has always been so easy to look somebody in the face as they speak to me and not process one word they are saying. Don't know if that makes sense to anyone here but I have done it so many times to the point that when they ask where was I, I never know!!!