I find when I easily lose my cool over these kinds of things that its a direct reflection of how little I am doing for myself. When I want their "gold stars" I stop earning them from myself. They are conditioned to depend on us and look to us to the ones to let it go.

If I were in your shoes I would make my daughter replace the chips out of her own money and finding a way to get them and remind hubby how easy it is to change the energy of a room to negative by being pissy. I feed off my husbands energy too and it took a while to show him that if he tempers himself I follow his lead, if he loses his patience, I also follow his lead.