Something I've been learning and have been trying my best to do is that in order to really figure out why someone does what they do, you have to talk to THAT PERSON about it. The HARD conversations must be between you and the person you are trying to understand or you will never come to a conclusion about their true intentions or their actions. It's one of the most difficult lessons I've learned but also the most rewarding... No matter whether the answers make your life easier or harder, they are the right answers. It's always much better to KNOW than GUESS.