It's very much the same thing for me. I thought that I was the only one that felt that way. I do things so routine that I work like clockwork. I do things precisely at the same time, right up to the minute. And it keeps going on and on that way.

I expect things to change myself. I'm hoping for change but I know with what I am doing, it will not. There are some things that I really want to change. But I feel like it can't happen as long as I keep going that way.

On the weekends I feel very lonely. But I can't seem to motivate myself to research for things going in my area that could be of interest to me. In the past I did that a lot and it all didn't work out anyways. So when I keep myself busy doing what I do on the weekends, I'm by myself and then I feel like I'm not missing much. But at the same time, I feel like life is passing me by. Makes sense?

But I keep thinking that something will change, even if I don't use any of my efforts to make it change. It has happened before.