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Originally Posted by growlithing
and the pain I will feel in the future.
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^This. You don't know this. I know you can't know this because I felt the same and I was so wrong. The basic daily happiness I feel today was absolutely unimaginable to me in the past. I had no template for happiness in my life, no experience of it, it was a complete unknown. And yet, it exists for me now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlithing
Yeah, this is why I can't do it. I haven't attempted it, but I've gotten really close. I've set everything up and tried to talk myself into doing it, but ultimately I just imagine the people I care about finding out and I can't do it. It makes me feel horrible for thinking about it too. I haven't told her how close I've gotten yet and I'm kinda scared to.
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Been right there, in that moment. I wasn't afraid to tell my T, but I didn't want to because I knew it would hurt him and I didn't want him to be disappointed in me. What I didn't expect, and what so surprised me, was the respect for me he felt
because I told him. He said I had given him a great gift by telling him. And it deepened our relationship.
And it was a relief to have him know. Your T can't help you with these thoughts unless you tell her.