Quote:
Originally Posted by sinking
Hello, i am really confused about this situation and would really appreciate any opinion.
but im not in love with him, dont even like him, and never feel like seeing him because we cant communicate and i even hate his kisses.
BUT we've been both alone for a long time and since we're kind of similar in thinking and lifestyle we both thought it could work out between us. only that recently i find myself more and more aware that i am more annoyed with him than happy to see him.
but as soon as i decide (by myself - in my head) that its over i am overwhelmed with sadness and hopelessness and feel the need to text him (not see him) to know he's still there and we still have some kind of connection or hope.
we already have kind of talked about our issues and expectations but didnt come up with a solution or decision, we just kept dating hoping things would change. and they didnt.
i
please, i would really appreciate any thought on this. i am really confused and dont know what to think/feel/do. any input is welcomed. thanks
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You mention that you and he cannot communicate. You stress that you are not in love with him nor even like him.
You mention that you text, to know that he is still there. You mention that you both had been alone for a long time, going into this relationship.
One would imagine, that after building up a relationship with a person, and waiting to become intimate, the feelings would be there. However, it doesn't sound like a true emotional bond was forged.
Was this staying, 9 months, in a relationship more a matter of avoiding being alone, than it was about building up a loving, nurturing relationship?
It doesn't sound like that was built, before becoming intimate.
What would seem fair, would be to step away from both the friendship and intimate relationship. I say this, because you mention you cannot communicate and that you don't even like him.
It would be fair, for the both of you, to step away, and move on, and when the time comes for someone more right for you, you will both be emotionally available for a new person.
Hanging onto a friendship, for the sake of not being alone, doesn't leave either one of you emotionally available to date another person. That's not fair, to anyone.