I believe that dreams are trying to call your attention to something in your unconscious. There is something about yourself that you don't acknowledge consciously. The dream seems very intense and disturbing, but that might mean that your dream self needs to try very hard to get your attention, by magnifying the intensity of what's going on.

It doesn't mean that you are abnormal or a bad person. You write that you are disgusted with yourself for having the dream, which indicates something about your relationship to this side of yourself. I have compassion for you, certainly, for the feeling of what it's like to have a side of yourself that feels repulsive. It's not surprising that the dream is so intense when you have such intense feelings about this side of yourself.

Mike