Don't know the entire circumstances of your situation or relationship but all of the women I have dated wanted to be liked and feel special. Perhaps when they say you are too nice, then mean you don't go for what you want or make them feel special. Backing down from intimacy or not pursuing physical interaction can leave a woman feeling rejected. I'm not telling you to be a sleezy guy or just think about sex, but women want to feel attractive and good about themselves. Being chased and sex can fulfill that need for some women.

Everyone is different and some women look for a certain types of guys. It could be very possible that the girls you have dated just weren't into you. That doesn't mean you are a loser or anything. It just means that the girls you dated didn't work out. Earnest self esteem will never come through the affection of another. No relationship will make you happy. In the beggining you may have butterflies in your stomach and feel amazing, but overtime that will sour if you have other things in your life making you depressed.

I found and eventually married someone. Thing were good in the beggining and I can say I was happy with the new found relationship, but over time all of the stuff I put aside emotionally started to come out. Then came back the depression, withdrawing, self harm etc. My spouse blamed herself for how I felt. While she did some things that made me feel bad, it wasn't her fault for how I feel but my own. I am the one with unresolved issues, a severe lack of self esteem that border on self hate, depression etc. Those things were part of me before we meet and they still are. Being in a relationship didn't change anything in regards to how I felt. When those things started to emerge and I began to withdraw, she blamed herself and felt like she was being rejected. That can lead a person to resentment or other things that are unhealthy for a lasting relationship.

I reccomend you work on your life and get things into a better place for yourself. That makes relationships much easier. The biggest positive for me is having someone and having depression is that I have a reason to keep going. I'm not saying I would end things if she left or am trying to manipulate her, but without my marriage I feel like I would be more likely to self destruct. Having someone that depends on me, helps me to think about the consequences and in the times that I am filled with self hate, knowing that hurting myself also hurts her tempers my actions and I better resist the urges and impulses to do self destructive things.

That isn't exactly a positive from her standpoint. I can't imagine going into things, if she knew how bad things get for me that she would have pursued it. I could be wrong. The point I am trying to make is that my issues don't help my relationship and are a issues that tends to drive a wedge between things when I don't ackolwedge and address them. The issues were there before her and did not go away by being with her. They are mine to deal with and when I don't, they cause issues between us.