Ok then you stay for a reason and the bad has to be taken with the good. 23 days and her working full time should help you tread water. I'm sure it will be over soon , in the mean time make yourself available to babysit or something on evenings and weekends. This too hall pass.

Easy, guys, easy. Lola is triggered and frustrated and that makes sense. FKM, you are handling this very, very well and I applaud you for coming to try to help and offer support. Some of us who have struggled through this ourselves made efforts and then some of us became frustrated. Lola's perception of the situation has some validity when EVERY suggestion gets shot down, and it appeared to me that she is trying to emphasize that there are CHOICES always. One of my main triggers for depression was feeling trapped and like I had no choices. My T, Lola, pbutton, Wikid and others have figuratively speaking thumped me upside the head several times by continuing to point out my choices so I don't feel trapped and just lapse into depression.

Faced with a very similar situation to growlithing's, I faced my parents on the abuse when I was a senior in high school and told them I would leave if they continued to hit me. Period. The physical abuse stopped that day. In college, decided I would be poor and / or die rather than continue to capitulate to my mother and allow her to control me. Not everyone makes that choice. If it bugs me that growlithing is making the choice to stay in that situation, then I decided I needed to stop responding. It appeared to me that Lola is trying to continue to emphasize to growlithing that this really is a CHOICE she is making to stay, though. Lola is continuing to try to show growlithing there are choices to try to keep growlithing from staying in the pit of despair and trying to get her to see her options and is obviously still trying to help by continuing to respond, even if her frustration is starting to show through. At least that was my impression.