First I think you need to allow yourself some slack. You are allowed to have bad days. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are also allowed to have good days.
Have you been to your doctor lately for a med check? I find it alarming that you are taking so many different things, & you seem to be on a drug roller coaster which it sounds like you don't like much yourself.

I think there are better ways to deal with stress, anxiety & yes, even depression. I have had to work really hard to reset my own body's clock, restore some balance and get into a healthier place, but it has been worth it.

While I still have bad days from time to time, I think overall, I feel better & in more control with few to no drugs altering my system.

I hope you can get some relief. I wish you only the best as you sort this out.