I have a real problem with being alone sometimes. It's one of the main issues behind my depression. Even though I'm trying to learn how to be alone without getting depressed, I'm not there yet, so I keep a little network of people that I can usually reach when I need some company.

Well, lately, almost all of those people have been unavailable, for a wide variety of reasons. But instead of me being able to say to myself that it's just a coincidence, I think that everyone must have grown tired of me, because I'm not worth anyone's attention, and I just use this as a reason to think I don't deserve to have anyone in my life, that I deserve to be lonely and depressed. And no amount of people telling me differently gets through that belief that I'm alone because I'm an awful person that no one could ever really care about.

Why do I always fall back on that same old feeling that I'm worthless and don't desever anyone to care about me? And what can I possibly do to fight that feeling?

mj