I have been talking with my T over the last couple of weeks about my dissociative episodes.
My overwhelming and overriding emotion as a child was "what the heck just happened" "Why won't anyone understand or help"

I have memories of a white room without a ceiling, vivid white. I can see me from behind with my arms stretched out at my sides asking "Why?" There are no exits and I distinctly remember leaving myself there so that I could handle the situation without her.

I am confused about this because it is an ongoing scenario in my life. I leave her behind so that I can handle the traumatic situation without distractions.

I just keep getting the feeling that the little me is not benefiting from the other me's experiences, so that we don't have to be separated anymore.

Does anyone have any insight or words of wisdom for me?