Questions about dissociative episodes

I have been talking with my T over the last couple of weeks about my dissociative episodes.
My overwhelming and overriding emotion as a child was "what the heck just happened" "Why won't anyone understand or help"

I have memories of a white room without a ceiling, vivid white. I can see me from behind with my arms stretched out at my sides asking "Why?" There are no exits and I distinctly remember leaving myself there so that I could handle the situation without her.

I am confused about this because it is an ongoing scenario in my life. I leave her behind so that I can handle the traumatic situation without distractions.

I just keep getting the feeling that the little me is not benefiting from the other me's experiences, so that we don't have to be separated anymore.

Does anyone have any insight or words of wisdom for me?

since this is an ongoing scenario in your life my first thought is I wonder what your therapist says about this, and what your therapist has told you is the best way to handle this problem. what if I make a suggestion and it goes against or counter productive to how your therapist wants you to deal with this issue...

my reasoning is that depending upon what this situation is about or whether this other you is your child with in, an alternate you, an ego state, an alternate personality...whatever she is, dictates what and how you should be handling this event.

example....

with in me I had many different types of dissociative events...

some were called alternate personalities
some were called ego states
some were called introjects
some were called the child with in
some of these dissociative events were psychosis induced
some of these dissociative events in me were called out of body experiences (OBE)
in me some of these same type of dissociative events you describe, was called anxiety induced dissociative events....

With each one of these the way in which I and my treatment providers handled the dissociative events was different according to other accompanying symptoms/problems/ what type of dissociative event it was/what triggered the dissociative event/......

some of those ways in which my treatment providers and I dealt with each of my dissociative events like this was...tweeking/changing my meds, Adjusting my diet, my having to adjust my sleep schedule, increasing or decreasing my therapy sessions, adjusting my work and school schedules, learning how to reground myself, ....and many other therapeutic skills.

my point of all this is to let you know that you are not alone.

I also dont want to suggest anything other than you continue to follow what ever treatment options your treatment providers have for you and if you havent already discussed this dissociative event with your therapist maybe now would be a good time since its something that is ongoing for you.

there are many different ways to work on this issue depending upon other accompanying issues/problems/symptoms and I dont want to make things worse. unfortunately only you and your treatment providers will know what is best for you. please consider discussing this ongoing problem with your treatment providers.

think of your little as being a real child, would you leave a real child there alone whilst you go off? she does not know why you are leaving her there, in her eyes you abandon her. when you are in this situation again, try reassuring her, hold her hand and take her away from the traumatic situation by doing things which make her happy. like all children, your inner little is an individual, so only by asking her or by trial and error will you know what things make her happy, but many like colouring , reading children's books or watching cartoons. depending on the age of your inner little, a baby dummy for use in private may help, teen age littles often like the same as real teens do. but most important to let your little know you acknowledge their existence, and are always going to protect them in future. no more turning your back on her. always put her first as you would a daughter. eventually she will not feel the need to separate herself from the rest of you.

Thank you. That makes a bit more sense than I have been able to glean on my own. I will work on reassuring her.

I had a little one in a room holding an abuse memory. Recently while in session, one of the young ones wanted to take from the room. With help from my t the little one was able to leave the room and come into session. We locked the door to keep the abusers from getting out. They are still in the room. At first my little one wouldn't leave the room because she was afraid of the hall so I made the room door open into session and she left the horrible room. She is now safe with me by my side safe. My t explained that my system was developed by us so if we need to, we can change it. I wasn't sure we could but we did and I feel stronger for it.

That's an interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing. I'm new to the dissociative diagnosis and I'm not sure I understand how it works yet. Your answer gave me some new insight. Thank you