((Kori)),

I personally never heard "voices". However, I did go through some very challenging times with the PTSD. I used to sit at my computer and come to PC and type and read and type away and I was basically shivering and shaking while I did that too. I had a space heater blowing on me because I also got the chills really bad too. I too was afraid to go to sleep because I would experience night terrors and wake up all upset.
I finally had to take Klonopin to help me be able to sleep without waking up in terror.

You really have to be "brave" an let your treatment team know about how you are challenged. I had to slowly learn how to not feed into it when I experienced flashbacks or severe anxiety from being triggered. It took me a while but I slowly learned how to gain more and more control over the symptoms of the PTSD.

(((rep))) I am sorry you have been struggling so badly for so long too. I know I got worse and worse before I slowly began to finally make gains on it and get a better handle on it. I just didn't understand what was happening to me and I never imagined ever experiencing "flashbacks", I never knew the brain could even do something like that. However, I began to realize that if I acknowledged the flashbacks, talked about them and worked through them, they would stop happening.

Also for me, once my therapist finally explained to my husband what was happening to me and to stop being mean to me (because he was often very mean and dismissive to me), I finally was able to calm down some and finally just work through it instead of trying to "hide it".

I will say that it is "very important" that you remind yourself that whatever you do experience is only a memory and truly "not happening now", you will do much better at "gaining" on it verses deciding to feed into it and believe that what you are experiencing is "real" instead of finally "working through it so you can process it".

Yes, it "IS" a lot of work for a while, but with time "you can gain on it" and slowly better manage it and greatly "decrease" these challenging episodes. I have actually had a lot of trauma in my life and I was always told to "get over it and don't think about it and just keep going forward". Well, I certainly never expected to relive it all the way I have. I have to say, it made me "very angry" too.
My T after hearing about all that I have been through in my life has been amazed how I managed to get so far and stay so strong.

You can learn a lot from deciding to be strong and just work through it all. You do not have to "stay afraid like you are now, you really can work through it".

(((Hugs)))
OE