I'm sorry that you're having problems...First, if you want to be together then Divorce CANNOT be an option (except for abuse, affairs, etc.); second, I would tell you that marriage HAS TO BE a team effort. That is the only way that it can work.
Your husband needs to understand that he needs to pay attention and be willing to be a team player and accept equal responsibility for the realationship. You also need to do the same.
My wife and I also had the power struggle, but she is the one that wasn't willing to give up some of the power. Unfortunately, after almost 3 years, she had enough, so we are separated and will soon be divorved. You can do this, if you think the journey is worth it. Make sure he's on board, and best wishes.
Jon

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