which way is up?

Hello everyone! I'm new here and I'm just so glad I found this place.

My husband and I have been married for 15 months and things are not going so great. Everyone joked and said the first year is tough and then it just gets tougher! I couldn't stand it getting any worse! It seems as though we've been caught up in a power struggle since the start. I don't know how to deal with that. I don't even know how to recognise it as the underlying problem when we have a disagreement.
In my opinion we're in desperate need for therapy, but that's not even a remote option as we're living in South Korea where English is VERY rare. Just being here is also a problem. I've always been a very independent person but in the last year this has changed dramatically. I rely for all kinds of support on my husband, and he's been great, but it's causing a lot of problems as you can imagine. I've never had problems making friends and here I am...finding myself unable to just get in there. There is the language barrier, but that's not an excuse. I'm putting him under way too much pressure. We also work for the same company and see each other all day, then we usually exercise together after work. This is obviously not working for us, but it'll only be until the end of this year. Next year things will be different. However, it is a problem at the moment...I feel he's become disinterested in me physically and he says it's up to me to do something about that. I don't know what to do about it except not being around him so much. And I'm finding it very hard, but I am starting to do things on my own.
Right now I'm waiting for him to come home so we can talk. We've been fighting since Friday. He refuses to see things my way and keeps telling me the way I think/do something is wrong and refuses to support my decision. I always feel misunderstood and alone when we're fighting. Tonight I'll have to control my emotions and we'll try to talk this thing through. I'm scared - I said some nasty things earlier and he mentioned calling the whole thing off. This time I might have taken it too far.
I haven't had anyone to talk to about our problems (which are mainly my problems). Maybe I'm too proud to talk about it with my friends at home...Anyway, thanks for listening. Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

I'm sorry that you're having problems...First, if you want to be together then Divorce CANNOT be an option (except for abuse, affairs, etc.); second, I would tell you that marriage HAS TO BE a team effort. That is the only way that it can work.
Your husband needs to understand that he needs to pay attention and be willing to be a team player and accept equal responsibility for the realationship. You also need to do the same.
My wife and I also had the power struggle, but she is the one that wasn't willing to give up some of the power. Unfortunately, after almost 3 years, she had enough, so we are separated and will soon be divorved. You can do this, if you think the journey is worth it. Make sure he's on board, and best wishes.
Jon

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I agree that it must put a strain on any relationship to be together so much, at work, at play, and at home... complicated by the foreign culture and language problems.

The only thing that I don't like is that he is saying that it is all up to you to change. You are making decisions for your own well being, he has to be able to accept those decisions, because your well-being is essential for the relationship to work. Of course there must be some compromise when considering your decisions... but that means compromise on both ends... not him laying all the problems on you and asking you to change.

It may be harder to develop friends and interests there but if you are working on that it may help... hopefully he is doing the same. Having some sense of fitting in with the culture there, and having friends to talk to and places to go, things to do on your own for entertainment and stimulation maybe will take the pressure off of having to be everything to each other all the time.

Maybe you could work at the gym separately? I suppose you have little choice at work, and at being home together, but maybe excersicing separately will help motivate making some new friends or something.

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